Subtlety

Disclaimer: Contains spoiler for Lust, Caution.

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So I watched Lust, Caution again. Why? You may ask. Because the first version I watched was the PG-13 version. Then my coworker kindly told me that the real theatrical version is NC-17 and it has about 40 minutes more of material. Frankly, the PG-13 version didn't make too much sense. What I got was: he bought her a big rock, she died for him. The full length version wasn't that much better, in my humble opinion. I really don't think the movie was all it hyped up to be. The man was supposed to be a frightful man; I didn't get that. Nor did I get the love/hate/danger between the "agent" and the traitor. It was about his affair with an attractive woman under his roof at best. Lots of nudity for a Chinese movie, I guess. I haven't watched that many Chinese movies lately. But I've got to say the sex scenes aren't even that real. Pardon me, but no man can just roll on top of a woman like that and be engaged. Ugh, it takes a little bit more effort than that, however dinky his tool may be.

My coworker interpreted the movie for me. Her interpretation made perfect sense. Made the movie a lot better. I just didn't get what she was saying from the movie alone.

Then I couldn't help but wonder: could it be that I'm that not in touch with the Chinese culture that I don't get the subtlety of it? Maybe I'm just more familiar with the American/Hollywood everything is out there for everybody to see style.

A British man once told me that Americans say "I love you" so much that it cheapens it. I beg to differ. My husband and I say it every day, usually multiple times a day. Five years into the marriage and six and a half years into the relationship we are still in our honeymoon period. An article said that, a study showed that it's not the interaction of the couple (some fights a lot, some avoid conflicts altogether) but it's the proportion of nice things/bad things that they say to each other that ultimately determines the direction of the relationship. Those who say 4 times more nice things than bad (don't ask me how they get the figure, just take it with a grain of salt) tend to have a longer relationship. Seriously, it's just words. Everybody likes to hear nice words. Why be stingy about it? If Hubby buys me something or does something for me that really makes me happy, I'll tell him repeatedly, whenever I feel the joy again. Or whenever I recall: remember you bought me the xxx some 3 years ago? That was the best gift I've ever had. Why not? It's not holding grudges if it's something positive.

There was this little boy who used to sit next to me at work. We have that kind of relationship in which we give each other shit all the time. What other kind of relationship can I have with a boy who's almost, not quite, but almost young enough to be my son? He's American; by that I mean White American. If you ask him, he'll give you a straight forward answer that he likes me (not in the romantic way). His honesty always surprises me, even though I have been in this country for over 20 years. I've always forgotten how open Americans can be. Being a Chinese, even though I like him a lot, you'll never hear it out of me, not in front of him anyway. Some cultural barrier will just always be there.