Vainness

I have no problem admitting that I came from a very vain culture. A culture in which people are judged by the designer brand of clothings and watches they wear, their occupation, their income, the kind of cars they drive, etc. etc. You get the idea. Obviously I'm not a big stickler to my wonderful culture, otherwise, I would have married an Asian guy, have some Asian kids, tell them that they have to get straight A's in school (yes, if I have kids I'll certain tell them that), and pass on and do my part in preserving my culture.

However, must as I despise my culture, there are certain truth in it. For example, it's very important to look at a guy's earning capacity when choosing one's spouse, especially when you are a women. I was having this discussion with my husband a while ago. (And yes, I did weight his earning capacity before I started dating him. It's important. Just keep on reading.) I was commenting how his friend who lives from paycheck to paycheck might have a hard time finding a nice girl.

My husband said not everyone has the same choosing criteria as me. Sure. I agree. Some people go for real love. (And in all honesty, real love and earning capacity is not mutually exclusive. There are real love between Hubby and I, regardless of the fact that I profiled him in the beginning.) And some women really earns a lot and don't mind the men earning less. More power to them. But the latter is, after all, rare.

So let's look at the real love scenario. The guy with a decent job living from paycheck to paycheck (Don't get me wrong. I have respect for all who holds down a decent job and make an earnest living) met and married a woman in the same predicament. Which are still fine, assuming they aren't trying to save up for a house. But most people will eventually want to have kids (I'll save my opinion on that for a later blog). After 2-3 kids, do the woman continue to work and pay for daycare, which most likely cost the same if not more than her earning potential, or quit her job and stay home with the kids. Either way, their lifestyle is going to have to change. Now from paycheck to paycheck, they really have to buckle down and watch their money.

Sure, it's not the end of the world and a lot of people are perfectly okay with that. But immediately you can see the stressor -- money. And seriously, you can see that from way before they get married, unless they decide to not have kids and stick to that. (Most women who said they are okay with not having kids end up changing their mind. I am basing this on personal experience and not some academic study.) It's hard enough to make a marriage work, even without any stressor, and money being the worst of them all. So, you see, my culture is not just all about vainness, there are truth to the madness. We are just a very pragmatic race.